Why marriages fail
God designed marriage to be a covenant relationship between a man and a woman. Though it was His idea, He knows that marriages sometimes fail. In this section, we’ll look at some of the main reasons marriages fail, and how God can save your marriage.
Unmet needs
One of the main reasons why marriages fail is because partners have unmet needs. When we feel that our needs are not being met, we can start to feel resentful and disconnected from our partner. This can lead to a downward spiral in the relationship, where we start to withdrawal emotionally and become increasingly resentful.
It’s important to try to address unmet needs early on in a relationship, before they start to cause problems. If you’re not sure how to do this, there are some great books and articles out there that can help. Marriage counseling can also be a great way to address unmet needs and improve communication in a relationship.
Unforgiveness
Unforgiveness is often cited as a leading cause of marriages ending in divorce. It’s not hard to see why; when we harbor resentment towards our spouse, it’s difficult to feel close to them. We may start to see them as the enemy, someone who has wronged us, rather than as our partner in life.
resentment and bitterness can eat away at us, poisoning our attitudes and interactions with our spouse. If we’re not careful, it can destroy our marriage. Unforgiveness can also lead to a bad cycle of fighting and make it difficult to resolve conflict in a healthy way.
If you’re holding onto anger and unforgiveness towards your spouse, it’s important to let go of those feelings. Not only will it improve your marriage, but it will also have a positive impact on your own mental and emotional wellbeing.
Lack of communication
One of the main reasons marriages fail is because of a lack of communication. spouses stop talking to each other about their day, their thoughts, and their feelings. This can lead to a feeling of loneliness and isolation, even when you are married. In order to prevent this from happening, make sure to take the time to talk to your spouse every day, even if it is just for a few minutes. You may also want to consider going to counseling or therapy together so that you can learn how to communicate effectively with each other.
How God can save your marriage
When you get married, it is a covenant between you, your spouse, and God. You make a vow to God to love and cherish your spouse for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part. God is a part of that covenant. He is a third party to your marriage. And He wants your marriage to thrive.
He can help you forgive
The Bible tells us that God is “rich in mercy” (Ephesians 2:4). This means that His willingness to forgive us is not based on our deserving it. Because of His great love for us, He is always ready and willing to forgive us when we ask Him. And when we receive His forgiveness, it enables us to forgive others.
Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die. It only ends up harming you. But forgiveness sets you free from the bondage of bitterness and anger and allows you to live in peace. It’s not easy to do, but it’s so worth it!
If you’re holding on to unforgiveness in your heart, I encourage you to ask God to help you let it go. Pray something like this:
Father, I confess that I have been harboring unforgiveness in my heart toward my spouse. I know this is not Your will for me, and I ask for Your help in releasing this bitterness. Help me to forgive as You have forgiven me. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
He can help you communicate
Couples often face difficulties in marriage due to a lack of communication. When you don’t take the time to talk to your spouse about your day, your feelings, or your concerns, it’s easy to grow apart. Lack of communication can also lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
God can help you overcome communication difficulties in your marriage. He can give you the wisdom to know what to say and when to say it. He can also help you develop the patience to listen to your spouse and to understand their perspective. When you take the time to communicate with each other, it will help strengthen your marriage relationship.
He can meet your needs
Often, when couples come to me for help, they’re surprised that I talk about God so much. It’s not that they don’t believe in God or that they think religion has no place in marriage; it’s just that they don’t see how God can possibly help with their specific situation. “Our problems are so practical,” they say. “God seems so distant. How can He possibly help us?
I get it—I really do. When we’re in the middle of a tough situation, it can be hard to see how God can help. All we see is our pain, our struggle, and our limitations. But the truth is that when we invite God into our marriage, He can and will meet our needs in ways we never could have imagined. Here are just a few ways I’ve seen God work in marriages:
He can give you wisdom
When you’re facings challenges in your marriage, it can be difficult to know what to do. But when you ask God for wisdom, He will give it to you generously (see James 1:5). He will give you the wisdom you need to make the right decisions for your marriage—decisions that will lead to healing and restoration.
He can give you strength
When your marriage is falling apart, it can feel like you don’t have the strength to go on. But when you invite God into your marriage, He will give you the strength you need to take each day one step at a time (see Philippians 4:13). He will give you the strength to persevere through even the most difficult of circumstances.
He can give you hope
When your marriage is in trouble, it’s easy to feel like there is no hope for things ever getting better. But when you put your trust in God, He will give you hope for the future (see Jeremiah 29:11). He will help you to see that even though your current situation may be difficult, there is hope for healing and restoration in your marriage.